Teen Troubles & Solutions

Well, you've done it again. You've landed yourself in trouble. You've been reminded of the fact about ten times now, too. It gets very old after a while, doesn't it? Older people are the ones more apt to have hearing problems, not you.

Okay, so you've been a jerk and feel terrible about whatever it is you've done. Or, maybe you're still trying to figure out what it is that they say you've done. And will anyone ever forget it?During times of stress, emotions run very high. People say things that they don't mean. This has probably happened to you, at some point in your life.

Here are a few little solutions that might help get the monkey off your back:

- Listen without interrupting and let the other person get it all out of their system. They'll be the one brewing a coronary, not you. And no one will be able to deny that you are a good listener.

- After they have finished, calmly give them a brief capsule of the point they were trying to get across. This will demonstrate that you understand the point they were trying to get across. One of the best ways to start is by saying, "I understand why you are upset with me." That will generally grab their attention because you're throwing the focus off of you and onto them. And you're also agreeing with them, and that's a positive in their eyes.

- Explain to the person what you can do so that this 'problem' won't come up in the future. Better yet, ask them what they would 'advise' as solutions.

- If you're grounded for two weeks, ask if you can work off some of the time by doing something around the house.

- And lastly, try to remember that the calmer you keep, the sooner the incident will fade - and that the righteous path is not always the most productive path. In other words, if you're innocent, sometimes it causes more pain to prove your point, than not. Always think of what is best for you first, and the rest will come. That's not being selfish; if you aren't the best you can be for yourself first, you won't be the best you can be for others. So take care of #1 first.

So, why do parents, guardians, and even teachers get so frustrated when something goes wrong with 'you'? Because you are a reflection of their responsibility. And because they love you and don't want any harm to befall you. Because they care, but their verbal delivery sometimes doesn't sound like they do. You are also their 'product'. They have worked very hard over time to mold you into what they want you to be. When you fail, they may feel like they have failed. Nonetheless, the blame is placed totally on you. Understanding what causes frustration can really help you in coping with the uncomfortable moments of 'lecture time'.

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