Castles of Myth & Men, A Yummy Medieval Story

Long ago and far away, in a castle above the clouds, lived a beautiful princess named Helena. The castle lay within a boulder's throw of the beach and oft times Helena would get a pounding migraine that even the strongest of brewed coffees couldn't touch.

During these migraine attacks, her Kingly father tried cheering her up by calling the Court Jester to perform ridiculous antics, which Helena didn't find the least bit amusing. What seemed to cheer her more than anything (other than gold and frankincense) was her faithful boyfriend, Jerkules.

Jerk looked pretty good sitting on the back of his decorated horse. The metal armor of the steed glistened and complimented Jerk's sheath that held his large knife. And Jerkules was well known throughout the kingdom.

One autumn day, Helena was suffering from the mother of all headaches. Her father had called in the Court Jester, but the bells on top of the Jester's head sent Helena's headache soaring higher into her skull. The pounding was almost more than she could bear. It was all Sea's fault! Waves rolling in, out, in, out - crashing along the shoreline. Helena was so distraught that her father sent for Jerkules to help calm his stressful daughter. Helena patiently waited and waited and waited for Jerk to put in an appearance. The waiting was terrible, much worse than the line at the supermart last Saturday when she'd went to purchase three kumquats for a breakfast pudding.

Dusk was swiftly settling in, nightfall approaching. Where was Jerk? She had patiently waited all day. What if something had happened to him? Helena flew from the castle in a panic, racing to the stables. Arial, her magnificent stallion stood waiting for her to mount and thirty seconds later, Arial met the trail leading into the dense forest, the moon above their only light. Deeper and deeper into the woods they went, the growth getting thicker and at times blocking their path. When Helena would have given up and turned back for home, and her nightly cup of horehound tea, a light flickered in the distance.

At first, she thought the glow was the benefit of a forest firefly - but no, too bright. And then she saw him, Jerk drinking spirits from a golden chalice, marked with gilded dragons and set in jewels. A tiny tiff erupted from her lips - how dare Jerk relax when her head was pounding out of her skull - and why had she been so concerned for her uncaring untrue love? Jerk calmly explained that he had been experimenting with some wild herbs and fuzzy powder, trying to find a cure for her pounding headache. It didn't take much to convince Helena to sample the concoction. And it worked - like a miracle, her headache was gone!

The moon shimmered through the trees, drifting onto Jerk's handsome face. The moment was magic, as was the kiss he placed onto Helena's lips, lips that were slightly bitter from the brew. The kiss grew into another, and another, and another and......the moment in time was shattered - lost, undone for Helena suddenly got a headache that even the strange brew wouldn't undo.

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